Against My Better Judgment
“Can the boys have Easter with me this year?” I’m thinking what’s the catch. “My sister is having a big to do with an outside egg hunt, I’ve never taken the boys.” My immediate response is NO but I soften a bit and figure he is their father, the boys do have another side to their family. “I guess it will be ok, it is after all your weekend with the kids.” As quickly as the words come out of my mouth I want to suck them back in. This is the man who presented Christmas presents to the boys in garbage bags, with no wrapping.
I’ve already purchased three eighteen count packages of eggs and boiled them along with three egg dying kits. The idiot in me offers these items to the father. I will not part with any of the chocolate from New Jersey or any of the other basket items purchased in advance. The Easter bunny will leave them at my house for when the boys return. I freshened up the boys chinos and polo shirts made sure their boat shoes fit. Ok, they are all set for Easter with their Father.
After discussing this being the first Easter I will be without the Boys, we decided that we would spend the Holiday in New Jersey. The Father asked if he could pick the kids up from school the Thursday before Easter and spend the long weekend with them. This is not in his nature, but I agreed, that meant that we could get on the road early for the drive to New Jersey.
I requested the father come to my house Wednesday evening to pick up the clothing, Easter supplies, written out instructions with phone numbers and to ensure he knew where to go to pick up the boys at school since he had never graced the hallways EVER. I stressed more than a dozen times where and what time to pick up the kids. She sat at the kitchen table listening to me go over instructions and ensure that they were comprehended as if I was talking to a child.
Thursday morning came and the boys were very excited to go to school with the cupcakes that they baked with her. We took them to school, hugged and kissed each one a million times and I told them all they had to do was call anytime over the next four days and I would be back in a flash. I reminded each boys a zillion times where to stand to wait for their dad at the end of the school day.
She and I were off for our Holiday weekend. We arrived at the castle late in the morning, it was a beautiful day so we decided to explore. After walking thru a very quaint town and stopping in a few country stores we were off for a late lunch a couple towns away.
I was taking in all the sites with my bare feet on the dashboard listening to the country music when my cell phone rang. I glanced at the dashboard clock and smiled, it was probably the boys checking in after school. Once I grabbed the phone and saw the number the hair on my neck stood up, it was the elementary school. As I was on the phone with the principal call waiting beeped and it was the junior high school! 3:45PM and none of the boys had been picked up yet. School did have my notes and they were expecting the father to pick the boys up, they tried to contact the father but he was not answering the phone. I explained that I was already out of state, I would find the father and get back to them immediately. She pulled over because she was in disbelief that after all of my instruction and inquiry of his comprehension he was not at school on time. It took a few tries but I was able to track him down, I wanted to rip his head off when I was told to relax, he’s on his way now. It seems that he just lost track of time, it was not a big deal that he was picking his children up at 4:00 rather than 3:00 and I really do need to clam down a bit. I contacted the principals at both schools I could not apologize enough and let them know that HE was in transit and should be there momentarily.
She grabbed my hand and we continued on our journey towards what was now turning into an early dinner. It took a bit of prompting; eventually I was calmed and enjoyed the rest of the day. I was able to find some humor in the earlier incident. She was able to witness first hand the trials and tribulations in relation to “The Father”.
Motherhood is always an adventure, motherhood with HIM involved is an adventure on a stormy sea. I asked her again ….. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Road Trip
She had spent the last week at my home because the boys were off from school and I was pretty busy at work. After being alone raising the boys for the past seven years and juggling the everyday ‘stuff”, having her there was a blessing and I liked it more than I thought I would.
She and I had started looking for homes on Long Island, she was going to move here. The decision to sell her house and relocate was made long before me, I just changed her destination – New York was never one of her options. We did view a few homes, the prices were insanely high and the taxes were ridiculous. Of course the home we both fell in love with was out of our league and the price of the taxes, just made the decision to not try to wing it all the more easier.
I was able to get a little ahead of myself at work so I worked a half day on Thursday and took off Friday and the following Monday. She and the boys met me at the office and we were on our first road trip back to her castle. I leaned in to kiss her and whispered, you sure you are ready to do this” her very honest reply was “I don’t know!”. I grabbed her hand, squeezed and said “just follow my lead, the rest will come”.
We made it off the Island and thru Brooklyn rather quickly avoiding the rush hour crunch on the Belt Parkway. The Boys were ecstatic when we saw the Welcome to New Jersey sign. How very quickly we dampened that excitement when we told them that it was going to be another hour and a half until we reached the castle. Thank god for rest stops on the New Jersey Turnpike, they do break up the ride a bit. We decided to have an early dinner on the road, once we were close to our exit the boys were ready to explode with excitement. We pulled into the driveway and the little guy asked “What country are we in again?” I’m not sure which child stated “You must be rich, only rich people have a front porch.”
She gave them the tour of the house and confirmed their suspicion of being rich when she told them the bathroom upstairs is all theirs. The boys got to know the cats and dogs that live at the castle along with the rules of engagement with each one. She and I went about making a grocery list for the next four days while the boys unpacked in the guest bedroom.
The boys woke early the next morning ready to explore. First we needed to get supplies, the boys were even excited about the local supermarket. I watched them relax, laugh with one another, play nicely and get along. I could have sat and watched them interact with one another for hours, this is what I’ve always wanted.
After the second night at the castle she and I discussed the possibility of her not relocating to Long Island, having us move to the castle instead. Saturday afternoon middle guy was quiet and complaining of ear pain and a sore throat. I took a quick look in his throat, his tonsils were swollen and red, I was sure an ear infection would follow. There was not one pediatrician from the yellow pages open, no urgent care offices that we could go to so the ER was our only option. Sure enough, he was given drops for his ear and antibiotics for his throat. I don’t think she slept to well that night, she kept getting up to check on him to see if he needed anything, I think it was to make sure he was still breathing.
That Monday morning I was on the phone with the school district as well as schools out of district for the oldest guy and his educational needs. I was not disappointed by any of the options given, she and I had discussed it further and it was settled, come September the boys would be attending school in New Jersey and living in the castle.
Monday afternoon we started to make our trek back to Long Island. There were three sad little faces staring at her in the rearview mirror, they did not want to leave. She promised that they would be back and that she did not want them to leave either. The little guy was very quiet and flushed I thought that maybe he was catching what his brother had … I was wrong. We were at the half way point of the trip when we hear “Mommy, I” …. And then it happened lunch was now in his lap. She was great about having vomit in her backseat, pulled over and we cleaned up as best we could. I wish I could say that this was his only episode on this trip, but it wasn’t. We were all very grateful to get back to my house and out of that car. She decided to call her pet sitter as she would stay on the Island to give an extra set of hands. I had a major presentation to give at work in the morning and I did not know how I was going to pull off work and a sick child.
That night we laid in bed I acknowledged her initiation into motherhood, she got a double whammy and she handled it with ease. It was that night she said “You are a great mom with great kids, they deserve to have you full time. Once you move to the castle, I want to take care of you so you can be a full time mom to them.” That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, 10 years ago I could not imagine wanting to be a full time mother but lately that is all I’ve wanted.
She and I had started looking for homes on Long Island, she was going to move here. The decision to sell her house and relocate was made long before me, I just changed her destination – New York was never one of her options. We did view a few homes, the prices were insanely high and the taxes were ridiculous. Of course the home we both fell in love with was out of our league and the price of the taxes, just made the decision to not try to wing it all the more easier.
I was able to get a little ahead of myself at work so I worked a half day on Thursday and took off Friday and the following Monday. She and the boys met me at the office and we were on our first road trip back to her castle. I leaned in to kiss her and whispered, you sure you are ready to do this” her very honest reply was “I don’t know!”. I grabbed her hand, squeezed and said “just follow my lead, the rest will come”.
We made it off the Island and thru Brooklyn rather quickly avoiding the rush hour crunch on the Belt Parkway. The Boys were ecstatic when we saw the Welcome to New Jersey sign. How very quickly we dampened that excitement when we told them that it was going to be another hour and a half until we reached the castle. Thank god for rest stops on the New Jersey Turnpike, they do break up the ride a bit. We decided to have an early dinner on the road, once we were close to our exit the boys were ready to explode with excitement. We pulled into the driveway and the little guy asked “What country are we in again?” I’m not sure which child stated “You must be rich, only rich people have a front porch.”
She gave them the tour of the house and confirmed their suspicion of being rich when she told them the bathroom upstairs is all theirs. The boys got to know the cats and dogs that live at the castle along with the rules of engagement with each one. She and I went about making a grocery list for the next four days while the boys unpacked in the guest bedroom.
The boys woke early the next morning ready to explore. First we needed to get supplies, the boys were even excited about the local supermarket. I watched them relax, laugh with one another, play nicely and get along. I could have sat and watched them interact with one another for hours, this is what I’ve always wanted.
After the second night at the castle she and I discussed the possibility of her not relocating to Long Island, having us move to the castle instead. Saturday afternoon middle guy was quiet and complaining of ear pain and a sore throat. I took a quick look in his throat, his tonsils were swollen and red, I was sure an ear infection would follow. There was not one pediatrician from the yellow pages open, no urgent care offices that we could go to so the ER was our only option. Sure enough, he was given drops for his ear and antibiotics for his throat. I don’t think she slept to well that night, she kept getting up to check on him to see if he needed anything, I think it was to make sure he was still breathing.
That Monday morning I was on the phone with the school district as well as schools out of district for the oldest guy and his educational needs. I was not disappointed by any of the options given, she and I had discussed it further and it was settled, come September the boys would be attending school in New Jersey and living in the castle.
Monday afternoon we started to make our trek back to Long Island. There were three sad little faces staring at her in the rearview mirror, they did not want to leave. She promised that they would be back and that she did not want them to leave either. The little guy was very quiet and flushed I thought that maybe he was catching what his brother had … I was wrong. We were at the half way point of the trip when we hear “Mommy, I” …. And then it happened lunch was now in his lap. She was great about having vomit in her backseat, pulled over and we cleaned up as best we could. I wish I could say that this was his only episode on this trip, but it wasn’t. We were all very grateful to get back to my house and out of that car. She decided to call her pet sitter as she would stay on the Island to give an extra set of hands. I had a major presentation to give at work in the morning and I did not know how I was going to pull off work and a sick child.
That night we laid in bed I acknowledged her initiation into motherhood, she got a double whammy and she handled it with ease. It was that night she said “You are a great mom with great kids, they deserve to have you full time. Once you move to the castle, I want to take care of you so you can be a full time mom to them.” That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, 10 years ago I could not imagine wanting to be a full time mother but lately that is all I’ve wanted.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Chocolate, Candy and The Promise
“Somebody must really love you!” the nosy receptionist said as she plopped the gigantic bulky box on my desk. I was trying to calm an irate client on the phone and now I was unable to see my computer screen due to this box, asking her to hold for a minute did not go over well. I tried to move the box with one hand and soon realized that it was pointless. As I glanced at the return address, I knew where this came from but finding out what was inside was going to have to wait, I could lose this client if I kept her on hold any longer. I had not realized that every busy body in the office had stopped what they were doing to give my delivery all of their attention. As I was finishing my phone conversation the queen nosy body was opening MY box! Once I pried my box out of her grubby hands I opened the box and inside were 15 smaller individually wrapped boxes with bows and handwritten cards attached to each one.
Chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate, there had to be at least a 25 pound assortment of Easter themed candy. I did get quite a laugh at the box of chocolate covered nuts labeled especially for my coworkers. There were bunnies in canoes for the boys, fruit covered in chocolate, pretzels covered in chocolate, peanut butter cups, chocolate covered cherries, truffles and coconut covered in chocolate. Easily this was diabetes in a box.
Never had I received such a gift and I have to admit I was quite elated with the feeling of just being loved and being thought about. Having the nosy bodies at work rather jealous of my new relationship felt good too. They were all still getting past the flower deliveries I had received recently and they did not like that I was being tight lipped about the “details”. I refused to participate in the office gossip and I did not want to give them ammunition for their rumor mill.
I called my admirer while I was still blushing from the gift of chocolate overload. I was fighting off tears of happiness during my thank you, SHE cut me off and said “You deserve to have happiness”, that just made the tears fall a little easier. To this day I get embarrassed about receiving gifts, in a weird way I feel as if I don’t deserve it.
That night when I told her I had hidden the canoes and bunnies from the kids she did not agree. I explained that using that chocolate for Easter baskets would greatly help me out financially. She knew that the gift was greatly enjoyed and appreciated, that night I let my walls down a little more.
I’ve always prided myself in being a strong proud independent woman. I’ve always worked a full time job, sometimes as a single parent juggling a professional life and family life is a very difficult task. Keeping a home with all that entails along with food on the table can be considerably difficult with one salary. There are months that I don’t know how I did it, but I did. That night I allowed myself to lean on her, and it was that night that she promised that she would always be there for me, she has never let me down.
Chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate, there had to be at least a 25 pound assortment of Easter themed candy. I did get quite a laugh at the box of chocolate covered nuts labeled especially for my coworkers. There were bunnies in canoes for the boys, fruit covered in chocolate, pretzels covered in chocolate, peanut butter cups, chocolate covered cherries, truffles and coconut covered in chocolate. Easily this was diabetes in a box.
Never had I received such a gift and I have to admit I was quite elated with the feeling of just being loved and being thought about. Having the nosy bodies at work rather jealous of my new relationship felt good too. They were all still getting past the flower deliveries I had received recently and they did not like that I was being tight lipped about the “details”. I refused to participate in the office gossip and I did not want to give them ammunition for their rumor mill.
I called my admirer while I was still blushing from the gift of chocolate overload. I was fighting off tears of happiness during my thank you, SHE cut me off and said “You deserve to have happiness”, that just made the tears fall a little easier. To this day I get embarrassed about receiving gifts, in a weird way I feel as if I don’t deserve it.
That night when I told her I had hidden the canoes and bunnies from the kids she did not agree. I explained that using that chocolate for Easter baskets would greatly help me out financially. She knew that the gift was greatly enjoyed and appreciated, that night I let my walls down a little more.
I’ve always prided myself in being a strong proud independent woman. I’ve always worked a full time job, sometimes as a single parent juggling a professional life and family life is a very difficult task. Keeping a home with all that entails along with food on the table can be considerably difficult with one salary. There are months that I don’t know how I did it, but I did. That night I allowed myself to lean on her, and it was that night that she promised that she would always be there for me, she has never let me down.
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